#52 Why Am I Thinking This?

Well, hello there fellow readers! Wherever you are in this world! (Yeah, I’m that optimistic, I believe you guys could possibly be somewhere in the North Pole, or somewhere in Tromso, or even in Sousse Tunisia, chillin with your family, might be in Vallejo playing with your kids, or in Cardiff, having some steak in Wheterspoons!

Anyway, yes, I’m so stuck in writing my articles for LiteFM, I might just spill some here. So here it goes.

I woke up feeling weirdly neutral, Alhamdulillah. Well, you might be thinking, then what do you feel everyday else? I know right, I question that too! But today it’s a bit different.

It’s not that long now for my big day, and yes, I am becoming a wife, a partner, a lover, someone’s other half, a co-pilot, a team player and eventually a mother and well, of course, I’m overwhelmed, but it’s a good one, a good overwhelmed. Like, I am preparing myself for it, emotionally and psychologically and it feels amazing.

As much as I am confident with myself, I have some insecurities that have been part of me since I was a kid. Like, yes, okay, I have to do this and that and how to do it so I can get it. I’m so used to be striving for me, like for my best interest, and now, I still am, duh, but with someone else, together with me in this journey.

Like the dynamic change. Of course, you want to be the best version of yourself (read: I’m in love) and you’ll try your very best to be the best person for both of you. Alhamdulillah, as for now, despite everything, I am very much grateful and will always be.

I’ve always wanted this, and believe it or not, it is as dreamy as I imagined it to be. If not, even more, way way way more amazing than what I can imagine as  Allah has sculptured it so well so masyaAllah well and you feel humbled and thankful, and subhanAllah, I must have done something right to get this.

As for now, everything is flowing and one thing at a time. I might get an art project (be it a video or idk, something…)

Okay, that’s about it for now. I’m applying Chevening as well, pray for me ya. And 3 documentary master courses in UK, In Cardiff, Sussex, and Liverpool.

Hey, thanks for reading! You know who you are.

❤ Ezzah Mahmud

#52 #ForceBond #101017

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